Well last evening while class was in session we spent a lot of time talking about how successful you feel when you begin to truly share your thoughts and feelings. Some of the students shared their experiences and choices they made when they thought that their need was not going to manifest for them and how when that happened they shut down.
What was found out though was that by not making the calls and sharing with those involved that the choices that were made ended up giving them only 75% of their true need, many times misunderstandings occurred. Not only that but when we don’t communicate whart is going on with partners and others affected by our choices, we are really not giving them an opportunity to have a choice in the process.
As our group shared about how they feel when that happens they could see how bad feelings can build up when the people involved do not share what is going on. The other idea that was explored was how does one in the sharing process, not share their opinions and beliefs when they do not get the opportunity to participate.
We then looked at the fact that it is not opinions and beliefs we share when we are Guardians. As the person that is listening to the information that does not affect us we only ask a question about the scenario. If the other person or people involved do not give you an answer that you can use to ask them another question then how you recognise that you are only there to allow those talking with you to be raw so they can hear only their own voice and thoughts.
I know it is commonly thought that you should be honest and share your opinions and beliefs. Somtimes we feel that makes honest people but if you have ever listened to people who feel they have a right to share their opinions, you may have noticed they really are not listening to anyone else… all they do is truly bully others by over talking and deflecting when they are asked questions. So try to remember that as someone in the room as a conversation is being had, if you are compelled to participate it is only in asking a question that will help the participants come to an action step that will bring them a truth and help them grow for themselves.
As well as if your question is not answered then know it is not for you to push yourself forward by sharing when it is not warranted. That is how frustration arises and others feel that they are being attacked by you when you insist that you know better than they do. The art of communication is simply knowing that sharing what you have experienced is only a format for someone else to look at, because you must remember, we each have a very unique mathematical equation that is only for the individual self, so you can share but they will not be able to have the same experience as you, they can not, they are not you.
So to share gives the person insights and questions they did not see on their own but no way should they ever feel that they have to be less than the person that is sharing with them.
P.S. I am currently in the Twin Cities, MN/WI area and would love to get together with you and a few of your friends if you’re in the area. If you might be interested in hosting a small gathering in your home let’s schedule it ASAP. More info HERE
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