Why is it, do you think, when you set up a parameter to play in, people change it and then claim that they do not want to play in it or stand up for what was originally started? This is a question that I have been pondering for a while. As I look at this question, I am asking myself several questions.
The first one.. I set up the parameter so that everyone that participated could really decide if they wanted to or not. I knew that a certain kind of attitude would need to be held and certain actions would have to be taken in order to participate… question would be: is that still happening ?
The next question would be… why did the people who decided to participate change the parameter?
Third question I then asked is… Do I have the need to go back to the original parameter?
Fourth Question… If I do not want to stand up for the parameter I created then why did I bother to have the social gathering I did?
Can you see how, by asking questions of one’s self, you can get back on track?
Now of course you are not done with questions until you have come to an action step. Mine will be taking the appropriate steps during the next gathering and re-establishing the parameter I had set up in the first place, or leaving the gathering all together. Here I have an action step.
I will, of course, take the steps to re-establish the parameter with the group. I will not make the decision for the group whether they will continue or not, I will not bully them to have my way. I will simply state what had begun and if they wish to continue with something else I will then decline to participate.
Why, you ask, is it not to get my way? I do have to look at why my desire was there in the first place. If that need is no longer being met, because of the changes that were slowly established, then it is my duty to honor myself. So my choice will have to be for me.
This is the part, that if spoken from the heart and not from anger, sadness or frustration, people will hear the truth of it. They also get the choice. This is where I believe we all get lost. They also get to choose whether to continue with it as it is or join a new social outlet or maintain the original parameter.
Do you agree with me? If not I would love to hear your challenge.
Have a wonderful day and into the evening tide.