Of course we had to come to this point where, if we are seeing the bully around us or those that bully us, it really does mean that we can lovingly see that we might… at one time or another… have been the bully as well. Or perhaps we are still the bully.
We desire to have control of our lives without asking questions about why we are not in charge already. I hear so often, “I do not want to do that. I do not want to make that choice”, or “I can not make that choice.” Can you see where I am going with this track of thought?
You must continue asking questions and exploring this until you have an action step that you can actually take. That is the first step in not being the bully.
Once we can show ourselves that we can make choices that put us back in charge, we no longer have to quietly bully someone in our life in order to have them do for us what we should be doing for ourselves.
It does sound so very easy. DO FOR SELF – not for someone else.
Now you might find yourself asking, “What if I want to do something for someone else?” My suggestion to you is this – be very clear that your desire to do something for someone else is, ultimately, solely for and about YOU.
If you are expecting a response from someone else because of your action, then you are not doing it just for you.
So ask yourself… when you are trying to get someone else to notice your action step, what do you begin to do to get that response?
Yes, when you are doing things just for you because it makes you feel tingly in your own heart then by all means do it. I know though, that so many do things to get a direct and specific response from someone else. This is the very thing that sets up the quiet bully scenario where we quietly start manipulating in order to get the response we think we desire.
Contemplate this whole concept. None of us want to be bullies but, we must all admit that at one time or another we have wanted someone to be something to us that they simply could not be… how long did our wanting last or is it still going on?
Fill your own needs and desires. That is the first step to eliminating being the quiet bully.
Let’s have some some debate on this subject if you think differently.
Have a wonderful day and into the evening tide.