When one talks about communicating does that mean with others? Does that mean with one’s self? Does that mean with the all encompassing Universe for all the answers one could ever hope to have answered?
When I first started this exploration about having joy in my life I was so enthralled with the thought of having any question I had about anything answered. Wow, to think to have the avenue to ask a question and to have the answer. An answer that made total sense yet one I did not know how to answer.
I knew that the time that I was being given was a most precious gift and I began to think about questions that were best for me to change my life. To have me learn how to make choices that would lead me only to the most divine way of life. Yes that can sound very lofty but to me walking in the light of my god is the most divine aspect of living. I did not feel I was doing a very good job of it. I seemed to be in constant turmoil, drama seemed to be a part of my everyday, almost every moment, experience and yet I got very adept at handling it . Which scared the heck out of me because I did not feel at peace with my life at all.
So began the walk of communication with the Beings of the 5th dimension, which in turn led me to walking in the truth with myself. In the quiet moments of my life I am proud of who I have become. It has not been easy. I have had to look at all my words, my teachings, my way of thinking, and throw them all away and begin to look not at the way a physical being looks at things, with blaming and condemnation, but with a divine love that allows me to take the accountability for my thoughts, my heart dreams, and then walk them with a quiet loving walk.
This walk is not for others to acknowledge and give me thanks for… This walk is for me to know that my heart is mine and mine alone, and if it is not feeling joy then it is my responsibility to take the time and make the changes not only within my thoughts but in my physical action steps as well.
That is what I do each and every day, and some days I feel like putting the pillows over my head and sleeping all day but I don’t I get up. I work with my students and I spend time in deep contemplation about why my heart is not allowing myself to speak from my heart about the scenario that is creating far from joy without saying it is because of this I feel this way or I can not do this because someone will not do what I need.
With the deepest of love and empathy I tell myself it is because I am learning about that little girl inside of me. The little girl that was broken and I do not want her to be broken any more so I am learning, as this beautiful adult woman, how to quietly stand up for my needs for one reason only, because without me filling my needs there simply isn’t a me.
Without you there simply isn’t a you. So, like me, walk in the deepest divine love for yourself, for the mistakes you made along the way. Learn that you get to make them for as long as you need to find that you simply get to make them. Then when you want a different experience you simply make a different choice, take a different action step, and it will bring to you a new, whole, expression for the needs of the self.