Tag Archives: understanding

Have Compassion for Self

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We must decide when we shall have compassion for self.

Compassion is having empathy and understanding for the sufferings of others. I would prefer that we begin to have compassion for ourselves first. We must look at the choices and action steps that we have taken that have brought us to our current state of unhappiness.

We must use that compassion for us first, take the time… and not in the ‘oh woe is me’ energy… but with true love for self that you had the right to make those choices that gave you the experiences that you have had. This is the very place everyone desires to stop soul searching. Yet it is here, when we decide to accept the accountability and responsibility for every and all things that we have experienced, that our lives would change dramatically. Continue reading →

Dealing with Combative Feedback

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I have found that one of the hardest things for my students to learn to deal with in their lives is combative feedback. I am going to take some time here to really talk about combative feedback so we, in our need to stand up for ourselves, do not become the one that is sending out negative feedback.

Now I am sure you have met those people who are rude, loud and think that by being louder and over-talking anyone with an idea or opinion different than theirs, that they are right… that they are standing in the truth and come hell or high water they get to have the last word! Continue reading →

You Need To Be Happy!

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I have so many people ask me how they can know what their needs are. As we are talking they are expressing what they think their needs are. I know that most of us feel our needs are those things like food, clothing, housing, jobs.

Continue reading →

Find your truth then change your stories

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So how do we come to grips with the fact that if we have not been telling the truth about our stories then our lives have been built on an untruth? How do we straighten out our lives?

This is a question I have spent much time on. By the time most people come to this question in their lives all holy heck is breaking loose in it. So what do we do?

I would begin with first by asking you to try understanding and feeling truly who and why you are you.

I always suggest to my students and clients that first and foremost you must come to know SELF.

We can only start from ground zero. Which is the core of your being. Continue reading →

Our Story – is it truth or fiction.

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Now we are working on being in balance, yet we are seeing that we have created a lot of turmoil in our lives as well as in others lives. We are beginning to understand that to stand in the truth does not always mean what we have been using as a story in our truth.

I have spent much time looking at what I call stories of my life. I have listened to others as they tell the stories that we have experienced together. I have come to an understanding that the truth may have nothing to do with what is happening. Continue reading →

Detaching from Mind Chatter – do you have the courage to do so????

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Now I have begun to understand that there are many threads that hold this mind chatter intact. It takes dedication and discipline to finally overcome what generations of parenting has done to all of us. As you begin to understand one line of the threading that has your mind binding itself up, then two or three more concepts creep out as we begin to untangle. So, you can see how difficult it can be when we finally do want to take charge of ourselves. Not to mention the rest of the world still wanting to see you in a way that tries to bind you .

So why does it feel like we have to give everything up? Why does it feel like all the things we are claiming we want most, we have to let go of? Well, because all of those things must be let go of so we can see how we have attached ourselves to them. Continue reading →

When is it my turn?

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My turn. Why do I write these two words?

This is something that at a certain point of working with the understanding of responsibility and accountability, everyone comes and asks me about.

It is a time when my clients and students have been with me for a while and they are learning how to begin to fill their own needs. They are taking the responsibility of seeing their needs and filling them. Yet they have not quite understood how to let go of the idea that the other person showing up around an issue in their life is not stepping up also. Continue reading →

You can only cheat on yourself

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Cheating on one’s self. Let me see. This has been a long time coming. I have spent much time contemplating what this means. I have come to the conclusion that we cannot cheat on each other in our relationships. We can only cheat on ourselves. Why did I come to this conclusion? Well, this is why.

When we stand in truth with ourselves we would not be making most of the choices we are for the reason’s we tell everyone we are. In other words, when we decide to get involved with another man or woman do we do it as a whole and complete person or are we looking for someone that will complete us? That’s the message many of us have received yet that idea, the idea that we need someone to ‘complete’ us and the actions taken in that vein set us up royally . Continue reading →