I am sure when you are thinking about talking to someone that you dearly love and yet you are having some issue or another it seems like it is the worst possible thing to talk about something that is triggering you.
When you begin to see that your emotional stories have a direct correlation to how you respond to everyday scenarios, and how they actually sabotage your daily life, you will then understand why it is so important to get your emotional pain out of those compartments.
I was talking with one of my clients and I was very impressed with how she was standing up for her parameters. She was having a small get together for her birthday. She had asked two people to go and she was going to pay. The next thing she knew, one of the people she asked started inviting another couple to the supper. She was triggered by this , but as she thought about this she enjoyed the company of the second couple so said nothing of the additional people. She did look at the cost of the group now going to be six instead of the original 4.