On my BlogTalk radio show Self Is Necessary, I was talking about standing in half-truths when making choices for someone else. As I was speaking I realized how it takes a discipline with great resolve for change to maintain making choices just for yourself. You have been making choices for you but really giving priority to what will be easiest for those in your life. In this way you have been making others more important. And you’ve been doing it this way for so long that it is now just a normal thought process.
When we come to a place where we desire to begin in a new place, how do we go about using the proper tools that will change our lives? How do we learn the truth about how we became who we are and let go of what we used to use as our identity of self? I think these questions are the ones most asked of me. Not right away of course, because when someone comes to me they are at the end of their hopes.
I think that some of the hardest things about changing ones self is when we are challenged by our closest friends and family. It always seems hard when they think we are bluffing and we walk quietly through their bluff and then have circumstances that could change their lives begin to happen.
I have spent a lot of time on mind chatter because this is the major block to our changing ourselves for the long haul. As I walk in my daily life I look back and remember how just sleeping was such a chore for me. I did not walk in a minute of the day where I was not worrying about how I was going to pay this bill, or what was I going to do about this person and how they acted. I could not spend time in really loving who I was or my life. I was one of those trying to be a ’new ager’, of thinking positive. But behind closed doors, I was unhappy and a mess. I knew I was off and could not find the truth.
As I work with clients I am going back and trying to learn words that will help dislodge the undercurrents that seem to get in the way of a true student that desires real changes in their lives. It is not as easy as one would think. I have watched wonderful, kind people struggle with changing an idea or an opinion that has kept them hostage in an old way of life.
I have been working extensively on how to look at our life experiences and learn from them. I mean learn how to walk the path of truth without resistance, free of worry and pain. You do not believe that is possible. Hmmm… well I can see that is one of the reasons you have the life experiences you do then. Why? Well… Continue reading
I have been noticing my students not seeing how to tie their life experience with what they are trying to learn about themselves. They are using just one experience instead of seeing that the last couple of weeks ties in all of their questions. Why do I say their experiences have anything to do with their life lessons? Continue reading
I spend a lot of time with my students on finding and holding our/their own voice.
How do we really know what we are hearing is the truth for us? This is probably the hardest thing for us to become sure of. One of the reasons is we had parents raise us and not guardians. I will repeat this over and over again. Because we need to learn to become the guardian for self now. Continue reading
One of the greatest gifts that I have learned is that to experience life is to learn that you can do no wrong. You can decide if the choices that you’re making feel good; You can learn that you must take care of yourself first. You can learn, by taking care of yourself, that the good that comes into your life can spill over to the ones you love. Continue reading