As I have worked with clients at Life Learning Center of Self I have begun using the term ‘Stories’. My interpretation of this word is our life experiences. As I work with a client we come to a space where an understanding comes that to make choices has always been our right.
Yet not all of us have found a way of being conscious of when we choose something in our lives. As we get to know one another it allows for the discussions on, ” How to recognize even as a small child our choices” for ourselves.
Now, I have had some very lively conversations on this subject. Yet I have come to believe that we have always had an internal feeling mechanism that has always warned us that we are about to make a choice that will not bring us good feed back.
So this is where I begin to work and research with my clients how far back they lost sight of this mechanism.
When you hear yourself or others say, “I do not know how I feel,” or the shorter version, “I don’t know,” become aware that was what you put into place instead of standing in a choice that did not go against your own inner feelings.
We begin to look at why each of them made the choice to go along with the crowd. I have had a lot of people talk about how they did not have a choice when it came to parents or teachers. I am here to say, We did have a choice. We had a choice in how we felt about the incident itself.
I am here to say over and over if need be, to repeat, you and only you choose to feel mad about the situation or happy about the situation.
Yet again and again I hear, “But I do not want to make that choice.” Okay, you get to turn away, but is that not a choice??????
If you choose to stay in a scenario that is not making you happy are you not choosing out loud and for yourself. Well, this is when we should take more time about why we are saying we are not happy yet we are choosing to stay in the scenario. It is looking at and reminding ourselves when we get angry and frustrated that we made a choice to stay where we are at.
At any time we can make another choice. Yet so often we are telling ourselves we cannot make the change without really looking at why the change is scaring us.