As I have said before, it will take discipline in the beginning to stop ourselves from being in the blame game. My clients and students and I spend much time right here. I do not like going past this place and understanding until they have gotten familiar with this concept.This is why I suggest journaling, listen to your self talk, be very hard on your self in the beginning. You want to hear where you sit on any subject. Where is your opinion on any subject. You must come into this with an open mind. As though you are a brand new baby.
You are a clean slate. You do not have ideas about anything as of yet. You must learn to touch this world without having a belief or an opinion on anything. This is learning to stand in Neutrality.
Now that does not mean that you will not learn what you prefer and desire not to participate in. That is different than having beliefs and opinions. These were cataloged, so to speak, under false information.
That is the problem when we have parents vs guardians. Parents demand things from us. Using guilt and obligation. They do this through our entire life. Not just until we leave the home.
This is not about blaming parents. This is about understanding that they did not know how to fill their own needs without an outside source. Which was us. They themselves did not have guardians in the physical sense to teach them how to be unto their internal self.
It is in the internal self, that Love, Peace and Harmony resides.
Once we can walk away from having any of our needs met from an external source, we give up having expectations of others.
When we begin to look around ourselves and see how many expectations that we have put on the people around us, we thank our God, that there is love in this world. It is only then that we begin to understand what harm parenting has done to this world.
A guardian will walk with us. They will teach us how to question ourselves in a way that brings us to the understanding in love of both sides of any physical experience.