I have had a very interesting conversation with a woman today. She had commented that she had consciously put up walls, so that someone would come and tear it down. I commented back that the power actually is in our own hands. We should not expect someone else to come and prove that they are listening to us. Her answer was she was listening but…….
This is very common for us to expect others to hold our heart. Yet, we want to be very upset and carry as a badge of honor that we are constantly let down by the very ones we love. When we hear ourselves using the rebuttal “but”, then give a reason, we have just closed the door on the truth that we just did not want to hear.
How do we then begin to understand how to take charge of our life, if we keep closing the door on ourselves? Once again, I will repeat this often… When we think to ourselves that someone or something has done something to us we are not taking the power of being in control of our lives.
Ask yourself several questions. Be as honest with yourself as you can be.
Do you want to be in charge? I am in no way saying that you will not be loved. That you will not have a full and happy life. People will be more than happy to be with you when you no longer hold them responsible. I do not think any of us realize how much of the time we spend on complaining about how unloved we are. To the very people who we are claiming are not loving us!
Oh my, can we lay on the quilt. Is that truly what you desire? Yes, I have clients that are afraid if they do not use guilt and obligation on their loved ones, they will not have them in their lives at all. So, please be honest with yourself about this, you cannot go any farther till you come to the truth within your own being.
We did not want to hear that we should have kept our heart in our own care. So let us look at why we would put our feelings in someone else’s hands. Can anyone other than ourselves truly know what is in our own hearts? This world has been set up to get us to lose our own power. It happens the moment we stop being in charge of ourselves.
I am not saying you do not get to have loved ones. What I am saying is take them off the hook for your happiness.