The thing that I have found the hardest to understand about detachment was that I had to let go of what the other person was doing. That is what was hurting me the most. Why can they not just see that it is their action that is the most offensive.
I spent much time trying to gain this understanding. Now to some this may be so simple. For me it was hard to grasp the concept: Do not throw away the person… Just learn to understand they are not doing any thing to you.
“But, I have to live through the experience with them! I live with them. I do not like what they are doing!”
Well, that is where the lesson lies. This took the longest time for me with my oldest Daughter. She was the greatest gift. I love her so much. She was as tenacious as I was. So we had a very merry dance going on between us.
The thing I learned was not to be attached to my counsel. My counsel was coming from my frame of reference. So, I could only measure the experience by the things I had lived through. I had to learn to listen to her and incorporate that frame of reference into my counsel. Then I still had to learn not to be attached to the counsel.
Thank all the good in this world because we both made it. We both made it so wonderfully. She is such a great being. The best part is we both Love each other so very much. Yet we live different lives.
We must not think that someone else’s frame of reference is not valid. It is their life. Let’s not get so full of ourselves that we can claim we know what someone else is feeling. That is what got us away from understanding our feelings.
I have found for myself, and watching the people that I work with that the closer they get to understanding their feelings the closer they get to the freedom of understanding.