What do we do when we have lots of feedback from our loved ones telling us to STOP CHANGING?
This is a question that I have been forced to look at every time I begin to come to a new understanding for myself. It seems that those closest to me all want to come at me for different reasons. They panic, they want to know why I have to change. They claim things were good as they were. They whine about not being able to make me happy. They say, “I do all these things to change and you are just never happy!” Well I would like you to think about something please.
When you are beginning to see change in yourself, when you are drawing new people into your life, when you are happy with who you are and the life that you have… what kind of people are you drawing to you at that time? Really think about this.
Even those of you that have been in lifetime relationships… when did you draw those people to you? Was it when you were just finding a new you? Yet is it possible you gave the credit for your new feelings to the person who just happened to come into your life at that time? Let’s look and see… after this new person came into your life did you maintain this new being that you were becoming???
I ask these kinds of questions of myself. I shock myself when I come to the realization that I let go of the new and budding person I was becoming. So, then I have to begin to question myself further… why did I give that new piece of me away? Did I think it was required in order to have these people in my life?
Of course, I did not do this questioning right away. I had to be in the relationship for years, thinking I was me, going through a process of trying to find the real me. Not noticing I had already been here. So asking the question, ‘why would I give up the new me’ didn’t occur to me because… Well, I did not see that I wasn’t being the true me.
It takes great vigilance, as you start these new friendships, to recognize how fast we go into patterns we did not recognize. So here we are back to where we started.
Oh my, I sure do see the old/new pattern rise its head once again… but this time, because I am focused on the fact that this change is what I want and is of my making, I can hold firm to the real me!