I think another of the hard things about communicating is when one person is communicating and the other person is slinging stuff to get out of talking altogether. This is where choices on our part have to come in. We must start asking ourselves, how important is this person in our lives?
I know this can start to sound harsh. Yet if this person does not want to really communicate and refuses to have any part in changing their form of talking to you, you must look at why you are in the relationship.
Our time, our life, is so valuable… yet we spend so much of our time trying to get someone else to appreciate us. Why? If you stand in the truth about why there is crap in the communication, you will have to see what the crap is saying.
We must always challenge ourselves in the ‘whys’ of how much pain we are inflicting on ourselves. All relationships can change our lives… we can grow from any and all interactions. Yet there does come a time when we must decide just for ourselves. Can we remain in a relationship with no communication? I am not just talking about a spousal relationship I am talking about all, any and every form of relationship that is out there.
If you cannot talk from the heart and be heard, then you must stop talking and start listening . Is it you throwing out the crap? Is it our way of getting us to listen to the words that we are using?
I know that each of us has to come to this point for ourselves. Where we start to hear what we are really saying. Is it truly what we are meaning? Or, have we moved on and now think and feel something so totally different yet, we have not stopped to listen to what is exactly coming from our own mouths.
This is where we can really stop and make a difference in our lives. How to communicate so we ourselves can really hear our words and thoughts. That is the only way to change what we are saying. The more we speak with love and only love for ourselves and others, the more our lives change.
I am not saying we do not get to express our anger, oh no! I am a firm believer that truth has anger in it. I am just saying speak from the heart.