I think dealing with feelings is a conversation that we have all looked at. Yet we seem to fail miserably at working this out.
If we stand up for our own feelings then we worry about the other person. We have always been told we are to share, help, do unto others, etc. Yet I believe it is this very idea that gets so many of us lost.
For if we take the other person into the equation, we are going to lose every single time.
So how then do we take self into consideration? Any time another human being is part of the thinking process we are not going to get the feedback about ourselves.
If you are in a long-standing relationship with this person or persons, do they even recognize that you have studied? That change has happened and you are not responding the way you use to? Most likely not. Yes, you heard me. Most likely not!
Which is where I begin my work. If you take some one else into consideration you are going to always feel as though you are not being heard or seen. The changes you are making go unrecognized. That is the inevitable experience. So you must first make a decision… are you doing this for your own sense of peace, or for the outside world to comment on what a wonderful person you are?
It is after you have made this decision that you can begin. It is that decision where you will decide I am doing this for myself! It is for self that will give you the most joy to sustain the work you will be doing. This is not an easy task. We have to let go of a lot of concepts of it being the other persons fault. We have to give up on the concept, that if only they would do ___, then I can be happy.
This is only a walk for self. It is not a walk that people walk together. You must get comfortable with the concept of SELF. Can you do that? When you can then you will be ready to start taking just yourself and only put you into any and everything that you do. And things will change for the better.