Have you been ever trying to express your feelings with someone, and they keep trying to throw other issues into the mix? Do you maintain the expressing of your feelings? Or do you get caught up in the side issues?
It is continuing the expressing of your feelings that is communicating. I have seen where that seems to be almost impossible, when you are speaking to someone who wants to keep the story about themselves. I am talking about that person that seems to walk around with, “I knew it was going to be my fault!”.
It is very difficult to keep speaking when you have come to this part of the conversation. It is here when we get lost. We want to defend out feelings. Wait a minute. Take a deep breath. It is not going to happen. You are going to get frustrated, your emotions will start to run wild. We lose all of our dignity and we resort in yelling at one another, hoping our thoughts will at least be heard.
Well do not count on being heard at this point and time. We have lost the most important factor. We have lost our reasoning. Once the adrenalin starts flowing in our brain all we want to do is either fight our way out of this situation or we want to run as far away as we can get.
Neither choice is going to get our feelings heard. When you are thinking about sharing, is the time to think without pain, anger. One thing that will get us heard is if we remind ourselves that our feelings are ours and no one can hurt them. That as we express ourselves we are asking the other person for help in the understanding that we ourselves are trying to gain.
This sounds fanciful I know, but it does work. The more we do not fall into the side issues the more we pull ourselves out of idea that it was done to me. The more we talk from our heart and soul the less time you will not be heard.
Now, this does work for the everyday things that go on around us. It is just using the truth and not our emotions to communicate with that really gets us the outcome we desire.
Standing in the truth is very important…….