Boundaries and Parameters – What?

In my classes we have been working on how not to cross our internal boundaries, and yet know and  understand that internal boundaries are not the same as parameters.

It has been the subject of my classes for the past couple of weeks. I was surprised to see that most of the class did not know the difference between the two concepts. So much so, that they had some very frustrating following weeks. So, let’s talk about these two parallel concepts.    

First, I have been a Life Strategist for the past 14 years. I have worked with the concepts of  the relationship of the physical ideas with the concept of the spiritual world around us. How the two work together, yet also stand beside each other.

To get an understanding of what boundaries and parameters do I have learned much about information that is available to us through meditation. How to connect with the internal truth of self.

As an individual I had to learn to stand in the Universal truth; nothing happened to me without me sitting in a feeling first. That was very confusing for me in the beginning. I, like so many others, wanted to go outside of myself to blame circumstances for my feelings getting hurt.

What does this have to do with boundaries and parameters?

Well as I was finding out about feelings, I came to realize that my internal feeling is, and was, my internal integrity… those were the boundaries. If I let myself walk over them, that is actually what was hurting my feelings.

Yet for a very long time I held my family, friends, children and even my spouse hostage for hurting my feelings!

The parameters are what we have total control over. It is each and every event that we plan for ourselves, with others. It is the physical experience that we have on a daily basis.

Parameters are easy to start utilizing so that we gain total choice in all we do. Oh, this sure sounds easy does it not? Well, I did not find it easy at all in the beginning.

3 thoughts on “Boundaries and Parameters – What?

  1. Delrae: Thanks for the reminder on the difference between boundaries and parameters. I think it will help me on the following question but if you could give me some additional pointers, I’d appreciate it.

    I have focused my attention in the past few months on taking action steps changing one of my old patterns. When I focused my attention on changing that pattern, I felt happier, slept better, etc., and made a lot of progress.

    But as I look back on the past month, I found that other old patterns that I had changed and hadn’t been having problems with for many months, suddenly became issues again, while the old pattern that I have been focusing on was being changed. What is causing the other old patterns to now come up, once I was changing another old pattern?

    What can I do now that would help me get through the rest of changing the one old pattern I was focusing on??

    Thanks!! Wendy A.

    • Remember that you are focusing on a pattern that goes deep into your life experience. So, those other patterns are really attached to this one and has less meaning to you. So, they were easily changed. Now that you are working on the main root, so to speak the others are popping up when you walk back through a similar energy, so look at them and go oh, I have already dealt with this so I can simply let it go. Which will open up insight to let you understand and truly let go of the focused problem which you are working on now. Does this help? Have a wonderful day Wendy.

  2. Delrae:

    Yes, this was very helpful. I could actually feel a change in my body when I read it, so I knew that what you wrote was on the right track for me.

    It is really exciting to get confirmation that I am now working on the “main root,” so to speak. I feel more inspired to continue on with my focus on that, knowing that the other patterns are simply attracted to that same energy. Hah!! Close at last!!!

    Thanks so much!!! Wendy

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