What is controlling vs taking charge? Is this not the most sought after question? If it isn’t it should be. How many of you feel the tight hold around your heart of someone who is telling you they love you when really what they are doing is trying to control and manipulate you into doing something for them that they are not willing to put the time or energy into doing for themselves.
Any one who feels that they have been somehow deeply abused from an early childhood experience is probably right now or has in the past been a person who tries to control another person or person’s in their lives .
I say this because control is a form of protecting one’s self from having an experience that makes you feel bad. Has that been your experience? There are many forms of control. Once you are in a relationship that is controlling it will be very difficult for you to break away. Why ? Because you are trying to control just as well as the person or person’s you are interacting with.
Let’s begin with the first relationship we start with… that is our parents. Now we can go back to the beginning of time for blame but let’s just for the example’s sake start with yours. The first time that your parents made you do something, or punished you for trying to experience life, you were then put in a position of having to make a choice out of character to your internal god source.
If this continued where you were punished for making choices to learn about yourself you continued to being pushed to a place where you lost sight of the Universal truth or internal voice of self. Does this feel familiar? Well now this continues up until present day.
There is a piece inside of you that says, “Wait a minute, when am I going to get to have it my way? No one hears me or loves me or lets me ever have it my way.” Does this sound familiar to you as well?
Instead of taking the time to go within yourself and becoming aware of how to get back to the real you, you begin to try and control your environment, your family and friends. Some of your family member’s will allow you to have your control and other’s will simply stop playing with you altogether. Some of your family is using the same kind of control on you as well… being as they are in the same mind set as you.
The clue to being in charge vs control is that you are not thrown for a loop if something that you have planned does not come off as you had felt it should. When you are in charge, you recognize that you do not get mad at the scenario but that you immediately go into the thought process of evaluating where your choices led you to feel or think that a certain kind of outcome was going to be had.
It is in looking at what your choices were and how your action steps brought about in your heart happiness or sadness that determines whether you were in charge or in control. It is all up to you and your choices ….. alone …….
P.S. I am back in the Western WI/Twin Cities MN area and would love to get together with you and a few of your friends if you’re in the area. If you might be interested in hosting a small gathering in your home let’s schedule it ASAP. More info HERE
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