As I was beginning to see that all that chatter that was going on while I was trying to learn to meditate was getting in my way and frustrating me, it came to me that maybe that mind chatter was also getting in my way of peace and harmony.
As I began to journal and keep track of just what moods I would have due to what kind of mind chatter was going on, I began to see a correlation between the tone of the chatter and my moods.
What did I do to begin to understand how detrimental this was to me and all those around me? As I continued to journal more and went back I could tell when I was rallying against something and the chatter would get mean, and I would find myself in a very low place emotionally. The mind chatter never had a high note, it only was debasing in nature. There never was any ‘high five’ or ‘great job’ with the mind chatter that was going on.
The more I was trying to learn to have peace and tranquility, the more the mind chatter would intensify within my being. I began to see that I really had to fight with my internal misgivings’ s when I was striving more and more for an internal change. As I continued on I had a real life war going on. I began to see how those internal misgivings also brought strife into my real world.
When I would interact with my family I saw how the more chatter in my mind, the more frustration was shown to my family. I would just blow at the slightest things and make them into huge arguments. Is this anything that you are experiencing?
If it is… start a journal; start keeping track of what you are doing. Are you trying to find peace or make a change in your world? My sense is you have embarked on a life change if the mind chatter is at its height .
Do not give up. This is the time to realize that the mind chatter is counter to your Being within. Your Inner Being and hearing your internal voice… that is the true guidance system. The system where once you realize how to use it, is there for you at any moment, any time you are in need. Then you will begin to see a world you can not even image today.