How do you sit in your energy and not affect others in what would be termed a negative nature? When you begin to really feel the masculine/feminine energy start to flow through you it does have an effect on the people around you .
When you are evaluating a problem in your life, you should at least try to see the root of the issue before going any further. By going to the root of the problem you begin to find the issues that are really the things that need addressing in your evaluation. I am seeing that when you are sharing what is bothering you, you see the other person as the issue at hand. Try looking at how the issue at hand is how you have written your life story.